You Missed It: An Open Letter to a Lost Love

Sweetheart. Cheri. Liebling.

I'm not really supposed to call you those names anymore, since you're not mine anymore. But that doesn't stop me hoping and having faith that you'll change your mind. It's been nearly a year since you ended our relationship, and about a month since I told you to get over me.

I didn't end things between us because you told me you were visiting but stood me up instead. I ended things because you missed the beautiful thing standing right in front of you. You ended things last year because I stopped being myself, because you fell out of love with me, because you wanted someone geekier than me, etc. The excuse changes every time we fall out.
And even though you broke my heart by ending things, I still told you that I'd be here waiting for you if you changed your mind about us. I put up with you using my body and messing with my head after we broke up because I loved you, I loved you so much. I still do and you know it.

So I told you that I wanted to date other people again. I think you missed it, but you should know that that was a lie. I told you flat that I had more to offer than my body and that it wasn't fair to keep getting tangled up in this nonsense if you said you wanted to be with other people. And I meant it.
But as always, for the intelligent man that you are, you missed it. You didn't read between the lines, and see that I was asking you to shape up and stop taking me for only my body. That I wanted you to treat me better and to commit.

It's not that I can't live without you. But having been with you, I know that you are all that I want and all I need from someone. I appreciate the impact you have had on my life and the effect that you have had on me. I know I wasn't perfect and that I often got it wrong, and that I shut you out at times -especially when I had to do my repeat work. And I've apologised time and time again for it all.

So now I've had to push you away because you refuse to see that there is an intelligent, capable, loving, beautiful, and worthy woman standing in front of you hoping to be loved by you and to love you, while you chase everyone else for something she is willing to give you with no hesitation: her heart. I wish you could see that, but I can't force you to love me. However, I can and will hope that you have a change of heart and stop looking for something somewhere else that's been right in front of you the entire time.  And if you do open your eyes, I hope you do so before you miss it, again.