The Truth Is...

I am a jack-of-all-trades, but a master of none,
My life feels like it's over even though it's barely begun.
I cannot handle periods of rest;
Without something to occupy and define me my head is a mess.
I don't feel as though I deserve anything good,
 So I don't take care of myself the way that I should.
But I don't know how to relinquish control over things,
And in realising this truth - my heart, it stings.
I want to stop controlling people and things around me,
But I don't know how to get healed and be free.
The cause of why I hate myself is still unknown,
But I need to find out so I can have a happy home.
The truth is, I fear that I'll never do well or be enough,
But that shouldn't mean I make everyone else's lives rough.
I just want to feel happy, at peace, and carefree,
But right now I can't if I don't know what it means to be me...